How are you feeling right now?

How have you been feeling while working remotely?

How were you feeling when you picked up the first drink?

For many the answer to all three questions is the same: Stressed.

It is not surprising that folks are experiencing unprecedented levels of stress. While stress is not always bad - and in some cases even desirable - many of us are experiencing high levels of stress over an extended period (chronic stress), which drives unhealthy behaviors such as drinking, and causes negative health consequences.

In the first blog post of this series (Quick Facts About Stress Part I) we defined stress. In this post we will describe three ways to combat it.

1) Manage Your Expectations

“Expectations are premeditated resentments” – Unknown.

How we feel is not based only on what happens to us, but also how these experiences align with our expectations. For example, if Michael gets a negative review at work, their emotional reaction will depend on what they expected the review to be. If Michael expected a subpar review because of frequent tardiness, poor work quality, and tension between them and coworkers, they would experience less stress than if they expected a neutral or positive one.

The takeaway here is to keep your expectations reasonable so you are not setting yourself up to feel disappointed and stressed when your experiences fall short of what you expected them to be. You then position yourself to be positively surprised when your experiences exceed your expectations. Do be aware that if your expectations are set too low, you may experience an unreasonably negative outlook.

2) Focus on What You Can Control

Humans desire control, stability, and predictability, which have been in short supply since the beginning of the Pandemic. We don’t have much control over what happens in the world. Focusing on these factors wastes limited mental and emotional energy and causes stress.

The key is to focus on what you can control in a situation. Start by making a T-Chart with the first column listing factors that you cannot control and the second column listing factors over which you have control or at least some influence. Understand and accept the factors in column 1 and focus the bulk of your effort on the items in column 2, including yourself.

3) Practice Self-Soothing

Having a good friend or family member to rely on during tough times is helpful. Issues arise when they become your sole source of support. First, by depending on someone else to relieve stress you are not developing ways to handle stress on your own. Second, by always relying on others for security and comfort you may create unhealthy dynamics in these relationships. Therefore, learning to self-soothe is important.

Your most powerful tool for self-soothing is your breath. A breathing technique commonly used by Navy Seals involves sitting in a comfortable position and:

a.      inhaling for 4 seconds,

b.      holding for 4 seconds,

c.      exhaling for 4 seconds,

d.      pausing for 4 seconds and then repeating 3-4 times.

It is important to practice this technique, not just after you feel stressed, but also during calmer times as it can boost your confidence to manage stressful situations as they arise.

Wrapping Up

While we can’t eliminate stress, we can find healthy ways to deal with it. Managing your expectations, learning to self-soothe, and focusing on what you can control is a good start.

You don’t have to do this alone. We will help you develop coping skills to manage your stress and other challenging emotions. And we are here for you 24/7.

Call us to get started today at 773-747-5500.